My gorgeous Italian neighbour is sat by the pool in a tiny black bikini with a figure anyone would envy. Oh, and did I mention she has a fifteen month old daughter? Yeah, and take it from someone who has seen her pregnancy pictures, she is damn hot. Not a stretch mark in sight, and if she were anyone else I would melt into the ground stood next to her, but she is the nicest woman I've ever met & makes me feel so welcome in her home that my entire mood lifts.
My mood has been increasingly low the past month or so. I'm sick of the ocean I can see but almost never get to go in & the same with the pool, oh and the discarded tennis rackets by Garry's chest of drawers. I'm sick of staring at the computer screen day in, day out doing nothing but singing along to new albums I've downloaded. I'm sick of biting my tongue during football, a game I enjoy, and the old people that seem to be constantly around. I'm sick of being unable to get a job... the only one I would be interested in would be 10-2 in Alessandra's shop 5 days a week but that's currently taken by a Canarian girl who is un-interested in learning English.
One of the things has been getting to me lately is my lack of qualifications. I passed my GCSE's and failed my AS exams before flitting the country. I would really like to complete my A levels, totally starting again doing Philosophy, History & Law / Psychology / Ancient History, but haven't heard much good stuff with the only company that will let me sit my exams in Spain.
I'm also feeling lonely, the only girls my age are either A) pregnant B) already have a baby C) coked up, or all three. They aren't exactly the types of girls who are gonna know who the father is, by the way so I'm not being snobby, I just don't want to go out in a tiny miniskirt with my tits hanging out like some cheap prostitute; not my scene, love. A girl is moving out in July and I am counting the days until she arrived, despite being a bit cheeky with what she wants for a 300€ a month apartment she is a nice girl & since it's not our apartment its not really mixing business with pleasure. It's 2 months and 5 days, by the way. It would just be nice to go out for a quiet drink with a nice friend or to C.C. Las Rotondas. Whilst she was out we took her to the police station & I had my first girly chat in three years, with her & Emma from Nestor's. We were giggling and bitching for four hours it was the up side to a very long trip to the police station. It was so nice not to be told to stop being so judgemental or bitchy.
Despite this rant, I tend to keep quiet about a lot of this to people. My family all think living out here is great. We pay much less tax but there is no NHS here either, the government is corrupt & no one bats an eyelid, then you've got the expat community... the kindest thing I can say is it is similar to living in a very inbred village; everyone knows everyone else's business & if they don't they'll make it up. As I've said, it can be a very lonely life, despite my family & friends thinking it cool that I've "retired" aged 20.
I've decided something has to be done, so I may be found camping out in Lucy's bed at her uni for a week shortly. Also I really must stop spending so much time doing the above, bitching about my "situation", as Garry calls it, and actually do something about it. I can't get a job so I'm going to organise my time better including exercising twice daily for an hour at a time & organising the weeks meals on a Monday and sticking to it. I am going to sit and really work on my novel & take a futher hour a day to read.
But for now I'm off to do something I shouldn't... Ssh!
